2020 — A Retrospective
I was looking back at all of the pretty photos on my social media this year and based solely on Instagram it looks like 2020 was picture perfect. Let’s all take a moment to collectively laugh at that thought right now! Of course, social media is not an accurate representation of anyone’s life or entire experience, and I’m certainly no exception. I’ve been wanting to write a recap of 2020 for a few weeks now and I’ve probably started and deleted more than 20 versions. For the sake of inspiration in writing this retrospective I thought I’d turn to a few thoughts I wrote on January 1st, 2020.
“2020 is off to an amazing start! I don’t believe in resolutions, but I do believe in change. Forever grateful for friends new and old and super excited for the year ahead — I’m kicking off 2020 with a (temporary) relocation to Boston! I hope that in 2020 you find the things and people that inspire you to try new things, take on new challenges, visit new places and give back in meaningful ways. It might get crazy, but it’ll be so worth it! If I can help in any way…you know where to find me! All my love, Kristi.”
Okay, so that WAS my Instagram caption for a Jan 1st, 2020 post, but it only seems fair to tell more of the story behind the story. Oh January 1st, Kristi. There’s a lot that December 31st Kristi has to tell you.
Spoiler alert: it did get crazy, but it was also worth it.
“I Think I’ll Move to Boston”
Somehow nearly every role I’ve held for the last 10 years has brought me to Boston. I’ve loved the city and dreamed of living here, but never could quite figure out how to make it work. In January I accepted a time limited assignment for work which meant a temporary relocation to Boston, Back Bay specifically. It was supposed to be until March, but you know, there was a global pandemic and I ended up here until May.
Those first few months of the year truly tried to break me and I fought for my health and my life in my every sense of the word. I quickly found myself a world away from the life and the support system I’d built in Florida for 12+ years, in the “big city,” navigating a medical situation and dealing with sexual assault from someone I knew and trusted. For as long as I can remember, my trauma response has been to throw myself into work, viewing dealing with the hard stuff as a “Future Kristi Problem.” I cannot emphasize enough that this is not a good way to handle things. I’ll share more about this in another story.
When the first round of pandemic lockdowns hit I was super lonely. I joked for awhile that my only local friends were Ken (my building’s concierge) and Rocky (his Pomeranian). Even with all the uncertainty in the world and with full understanding that it was going to be a wild second half, I relocated to Boston permanently in July.
In the early days of the pandemic I worked on building and delivering a session called “Staying Connected.” It was a program designed to encourage our work family to stay in touch, find things to do to manage stress, find joy and generally make it through lockdowns and quarantine. One of the parting thoughts we left each session with was this article from an amazing organization, TWLOHA, titled “Hope Will Not Be Canceled” which concludes its primary text with the line “And may we lean into the good stuff that remains.” Coming out of the first half of 2020 I felt like I was at the point where my options were a total mental breakdown or to take the advice from the course I was teaching and “lean into the good stuff.”
Part 2. “The Good Stuff”
Last year I took steps toward opening my adoption files. In July I chose to initiate a search for my birth family. I did DNA testing, I wrote letters, I sent pictures. And I came up empty handed, well at least that’s what it looked like on the surface. My orphanage wasn’t able to locate any contact information for my birthmother, but they did find letters in my file from my American, adoptive mother. If you know my story, you know that my adoptive mom passed away several years ago. What an amazing gift to be able to read about my childhood from the perspective of the mother who raised me to the mother who gave me life. Finding those letters was like getting a chance to sit down with my mom for a coffee and a trip down memory lane almost 17 years after her passing.
When my adopted mom got sick, I was just starting college. I was 15, sitting on the floor of hospital waiting rooms or next to her in chemotherapy sessions and doing homework. Life got crazy and in total, I ended up completing three years of college work in Iowa and Florida and had no degree to show for it. In August I did some research and some quick math and figured out that I was 14 credits from completing my Associate’s Degree. Because 2020 cancelled all my travel plans and most of my social life, I decided to go back to school. On December 20, 2020, almost 15 years later than planned, I finally earned my A.A. degree, graduating with honors and a plan to finish a bachelor’s degree starting in January.
The role that brought me to Boston in the first half of the year introduced me to some of the best people. One of the kindest and most thoughtful leaders connected me with an amazing church here in Boston. Highrock has given me community, tangible ways for me to serve and the opportunity to do more of the “Staying Connected” activities that I love. If you’re going to move 1500 miles across the country in the middle of a global pandemic, there’s no better place to land than at Highrock. I’ll forever be grateful for that intro.
In November I got invited to join a company that’s been on my bucket list for a long time for a dream role. It was a tough decision, but in the end I got to go from one great thing to another great thing. I’m closing out the year as a part of team that cares passionately about both doing well and doing good.
Cheers to 2021
There are a lot of things to reflect on and be thankful for coming out of 2020, but like many I am breathing a sigh of relief that a new year is finally here. Not because I expect things to magically change or to instantaneously get better, but because I’m excited and inspired to continue the work and personal growth that started in 2020.
The words that I wrote on January 1st still ring true, but now have so much more depth and context behind them on December 31st. So, in 2021 I still hope that you find the things and people that inspire you to try new things, take on new challenges, visit new places and give back in meaningful ways. I hope you find ways to “lean into the the good stuff that remains.” It will probably still get crazy, but it will definitely be worth it. And in 2021, as always, if I can help in any way…you know where to find me!
